Weaving in mental skills

Many of you know, but some don’t, but I am married to an exceptional sport psychologist (just keep her happy and leave the ‘s’ off sport!) Partly because of our relationship and partly because I grew up in New Zealand, I have always weaved mental skills into practices, games and feedback loops. There are a lot of places we could start, but I wanted to pick three and focus on how I use them as a coach.

The first is creating space to evolve your self-perception and identity. I wrote about Owning a Place in the Circle, which includes stepping into an identity. This goes beyond as I try to create an opening for players to change as their skillset grows, their leadership experiences improve and their world view develops. What do I mean? I think players need space to experiment with their identity — they need to play with how they interact with the game, the team and the world. As they start to do this, each player will make adaptations and changes…some will be intentional, some will be situational and some will be subconscious.

I think as a coach, we have to be around and available to challenge sometimes, listen at other times and reflect back frequently. Why? Honestly, when a player starts to expand outside their comfort zone, they aren’t always aware of how they are perceived. I think it is our job as coaches to help them develop their perception and harness things that work. Sometimes it is also our job to help them shed or adapt behaviors that aren’t aligned with their intention. My goal as a coach is amplify their strengths, develop actions plans to overcome their challenges and to ensure they have self-awareness.

The second way that I use mental skills is by helping players build confidence in their skillset. Rugby is a dynamic sport, so visualization can be difficult for many parts of the game. There are a lot of variables and it is hard to write a script. What I like to do is to increase awareness of effective use of a player’s skillset in a game like situation. When a player uses his/her skillset at the right moment, I try to call it out in the moment at practice and have a teammate or coach follow-up with the player. I think that by creating awareness of positive impacts builds the confidence of the player and the confidence of the team in the player.

Another way I like to leverage this is to call out a player’s idiosyncracies in a huddle. I will often ask, “If this player has the ball, what do we expect them to do?” When a player hears that their teammates know them, they develop more confidence in that skillset. For each rostered player, I work really hard to reinforce a key aspect that the team knows they will do well. For a playmaker, I might tell them, “Trust your eyes, you see the game well and we need this to be able to go forward.” For a strong defender, “Lead by creating width on defense to give yourself the opportunity for the big stop.”

The third way is that I use different types of pressure at practice to help increase their ability to deal with pressure in a match. Sometimes, I will shorten the time they have to make a decision, other times, I will allow the opposition to cheat (normally, I make this an assistant coach who can play offside). At other times, I will increase the terribleness of my reffing (it becomes very biased) or I will send a playoff for no reason. My goal with this is that the each playing group focuses on the things that they can control. They learn to adapt as they play. What is the key to stopping this from just becoming chaos? The debrief at the end of the activity — when players and coaches call out the times when the players got it right or problem solve how they could’ve got it right.

Additionally, I’ve written a bit about learning from Scenarios here. But in this context, I would give the team a scenario at training and they would have to execute. Afterward, we can debrief and maybe find a better solution. Sometimes, I will give the team another shot and other times, I will leave them stewing on a bad rep. Why? They frustration and peevishness are part of the emotions that pressure create in a game. If I am always finishing on a good rep, I don’t believe that I am creating enough pressure on a one-time performance of the players. I will add the caveat, you can’t do this all the time, since practice is a place to get better. But sometimes, throwing it in creates a focus and urgency to get things right under pressure.

So there are three favorite ways that I consciously add in mental skills into practice. What are some of your favorite ways to do it?

Meandering Forward

As I drove from Indianapolis back to my home in Nashville, Tennessee, I found myself reflecting on the concept of progress while listening to various podcasts. One particular saying from James Clear, the author of *Atomic Habits*, caught my attention: "I get 1% better every day." While I appreciate the sentiment, the idea of improving by just 1% daily can sometimes feel overly linear and, at times, unattainable. This led me to a realization: my own path is more akin to a meandering river, slowly progressing toward a goal.

This notion of "meandering forward" is especially relevant in our roles as coaches. We aim to foster growth in our athletes, but the journey is rarely straightforward. Working with two teams, comprising 30 to 50 athletes each, I saw firsthand how progress varies. Like a river with sections that flow at different speeds, our teams move forward at their own pace. This dynamic allows us to meet athletes where they are, guiding them through their unique paths.

I also listened to a podcast featuring Jay Carter and Alex Lasky, where Alex discussed diverse coaching strategies and real-time problem-solving. This resonated with my own coaching philosophy. I envision where I want the team to go over the year, but sometimes that vision shifts. Much like a river that takes unexpected turns and sometimes bursts its banks, our journey may lead us through tributaries, confluences, or even rapids. At times, we might find ourselves needing to backtrack, which can still be a form of progress.

Even when it feels like we're moving backward, these moments can be pivotal. They offer opportunities for reflection and intentional decision-making, leading to increased awareness and adjustments in our approach. This process, though non-linear, always moves us toward our ultimate goal of connection and progress.

Throughout the season, we build a unique identity for our team. While the individuals may remain largely the same, the outcomes of our time together can vary significantly. The concept of meandering forward captures the joy in the journey and the process. It encompasses the daily, ordinary activities that become integral to our memories, fostering inside jokes and deeper connections.

As we continue to meander forward, let's embrace the journey and the growth it brings, both on and off the field.

Acknowledge, learn and focus

As a coach developing a team culture it’s important to create rituals that help your athletes maintain focus and perform in the arena. One of the ways that I like to do this is by differentiating between mistake and flush rituals. These rituals improve performance by allowing athletes to learn, stay present and move forward.

Mistake Rituals: Embrace and Accept

Mistake rituals are essential when significant errors occur. They involve a conscious acknowledgment of the mistake, accepting its impact, and committing to work through the consequences. For example, an athlete gives away a penalty in rugby for hands in the ruck. This ritual is about owning the mistake, identifying where things went wrong and adjusting your technique to ensure that the same penalty isn’t awarded again.

Flush Rituals: Quick Release and Refocus

Flush rituals, or next focus rituals, are about swiftly moving past a moment—good or bad—and refocusing on the present. Imagine a player who misses a swing at a crucial pitch. Instead of dwelling on it, they need to "flush" the moment away, akin to the "goldfish memory" concept, and be ready for the next pitch. This quick mental reset is crucial for maintaining focus and performance.

Flush rituals also apply to positive experiences. After making a big tackle in football, a player must quickly shift focus to the new down and distance while listening to the play call and getting ready for the next play. Lingering in the success could lead to errors, like missing their assignment. A flush ritual ensures athletes remain present and adaptable.

Creating Distinctions

While both rituals address errors, they serve different purposes. Mistake rituals are about acceptance and learning, while flush rituals are about immediate refocus. Additionally, flush rituals help manage uncontrollable situations, such as a questionable call by a referee. In these moments, athletes must flush the incident and concentrate on the next play, revisiting the issue later if necessary.

By integrating these rituals into your coaching strategy, you empower your athletes to handle mistakes constructively and maintain focus under pressure. This approach not only enhances their performance but also supports their development as resilient and adaptable individuals.

Incorporate these rituals into your team's culture to foster an environment where student-athletes thrive both on and off the field.

80/20 -- so many ways this could go!

There are so many versions of the 80/20. Whether it is 20% of the work leads to 80% of results or that discipline maintenance is 80% allowing less discipline 20% of the time. In coaching, I think about this very differently. I want my teams to play at 80% because I believe this allows an optimized intersection between speed and accuracy with the ability for creativity and freedom.

What do I mean? I think the 80% as the foundation of the actions we should be doing as a team. From the game plan to the technical skills, it is the stuff we work on 80% of the time at training. These range from the fundamentals of technique execution through the mini-unit pictures we create through our attack/defense coordinated actions. We need to do these with high accuracy and high efficiency, which means that they need to reliable from the start of the season through the end of the season. This is where most of our focus is during the week and we continue to iterate throughout the course of the season. In rugby, some examples are the catch & pass decision making (2 v 1, 4 v 2), the contact roles at the tackle and post tackle, the phase play defense (fold, launch, etc.) and the scripts from the scripting of the first three phases from set piece.

By getting the 80% dialed in, it gives the team confidence that most of the time in a game an individual effort and decision will have a coordinated response from the team. It allows the coaches to start refining and iterating the technical details. It builds the confidence in the players to trust their teammates will perform their roles, which opens up more head space for decision making.

I think about the next ten percent (81-95%) as pushing the pace and the limit of the 80%. I expect the team to do this at times during the match to try to finish a linebreak or to get a key turnover. I expect the speed to go up, but I expect the accuracy to go down. This means that for parts of the game I am willing to risk a decrease in efficacy to have an increase in speed with the potential result being a net positive for the team. These are things that we have practiced, but the picture may be less than perfect OR the speed we performing them at might be outside our comfort zone. I want the team to be pushing into this zone when they feel the risk is outweighed by the reward — it allows us to do something special. This is freedom to use the system to play creatively — it is also the area that over the course of the season, I like to take from the 81-95% and refine our abilities to include it in the 80%.

The final five percent (96-100%) is for us to take chances with actions that we feel could benefit the team. As a coach, I can’t prepare my team for every given eventuality. I need the players to be ready to experiment using the technique they have but applying to a situation that may have never used it in. This should happen occasionally. The reward needs to be significant for a player to take this sort of risk. The technique might look a little funky, the results might not be a positive, but I want players to be taking these risks. In the analysis, I probe to see what picture the player saw and then we might choose to build the technique, ditcht the technique or apply it in a different situation. These opportunities don’t come in every game, but they do come and I want each player to have a little extra so they can really push themselves when that time comes and they take the risk.

My aim as a coach is to build connection as a team, which allows us to impose our will in the game. My aim is that we can do that with 80%. This allows space for the players to push their skillsets and increase the speed of the game intermittently, when done well this will allow the team to create more dominance and pressure on our opponents — this is the 81-95%. All the while leaving space for players to be instinctively creative in the moment — 96-100%.

How do I use this as a coach? I tend to spend 70-90% of practices honing and refining the 80%. I tend to spend 10-20% of practices building pressure on the 80%, so the team can increase the speed and willingness to try things under duress. The last 5-15% is focused on being a little funky and creative — applying skills where they are unexpected. What do you think? How might you use this approach?

Leading with Vulnerability

Vulnerability is a cornerstone in building connection and trust within coaching relationships. As coaches, I believe it’s crucial that we lead with vulnerability. We invite our players to be vulnerable with us by modeling vulnerability. By doing this, a coach creates the supportive environment for players to challenge themselves but taking risks, learning through experimentation, receiving positive feedback and taking responsibility for their actions. This helps cultivate the actions and behaviors that lead to a growth mindset, humility and coachability.

If we want our players to be vulnerable and buy-in to the direction we create for them, we must demonstrate that vulnerability is a positive. One way I do this is by sharing stories from my past where I made mistakes and learned tough lessons.

For example, when I was 18, I played rugby for the Adelaide University RUFC. I disagreed with training session and told the coach to "fuck off." Even though I apologized, I was told to leave training and did not play in another game for the rest of the season unless there was an injury. It was a tough price to pay. I made an error in judgment when I lost my cool. I share this story to illustrate that even after an apology, there are consequences that must be faced, and I know what it was like to endure that difficult consequence.

Additionally, I sometimes I have to shift the positions athletes play. Sometimes it works and other times it doesn’t. Sometimes players agree and other times they vehemently disagree. One assured me she was a back, but I saw her as a forward….needless to say when she starred at flyhallf, I had to acknowledge repeatedly I got it wrong. It demonstrates a couple of lessons: 1) I get it wrong and coaching is iterative, which also means that changing course when I make a mistake is a big part of the process; and 2) an athlete can prove me wrong and change my mind…it’s an opportunity and not an ultimatum.

Finally, I will tell about how I had to adapt my coaching style based on player feedback. My preferred way to coach is through teaching games for understanding. This approach involves playing different games that expose players to new ideas and when they have a skill deficit they see the gap in their skills. The players must pick up on these ideas and develop specific skill sets to manipulate the rules and win the games. One time, a player bravely approached me and said she couldn't learn the way I was teaching. She preferred ordered lists and clear instructions. We discussed this, and while I couldn't provide a full list of details due to the dynamic nature of rugby, I agreed to give her more structured information with gaps for her to problem-solve and come to me with questions. I share it with the players to encourage their feedback and show that the learning environment is cultivated by coaches and players.

I use stories to show that I do not always get it right. I have made mistakes in the past, will make mistakes in the future, and I need their grace to navigate those situations. To me, this is what it means to thrive in our environment. We want to experiment, explore, and do things together. It is our journey towards a big goal, but to achieve that, we must be willing to make mistakes along the way.

When taking risks, failure is always a possibility. Courage lies in the ability to take risks and strive for success, knowing that the flip side of failure is the opportunity to succeed. Every opportunity for success carries the risk of failure, and we must be ready to step into the arena, prepared to succeed while acknowledging the potential for failure.

Strategies to Create a Safe Environment for Vulnerability

1. Demonstrate Vulnerability: Lead by example. Share your own experiences and mistakes.

2. Appreciate Vulnerability: Applaud players when they are vulnerable, both privately and publicly.

3. Encourage Openness: Acknowledge that learning often requires repetition and that it's okay to ask questions.

4. Offer Second Chances: Create a culture where second chances are part of the learning process.

Leading with vulnerability can be challenging, especially when players expect coaches to embody the characteristics of the stereotypical "all-knowing" coach. However, by embracing vulnerability, we can create an environment where players feel safe to grow both on and off the field. We must recognize that everyone is on their own journey, moving at different speeds, and be accepting of others as they navigate their paths.